门当户对
- Literal
- the gates are equal, the houses are paired
- Figurative
- Of a couple: the two families are well matched in social standing and wealth; today it is invoked both to defend that ideal and to criticize it.
Where does 门当户对 come from?
It doesn't come from any particular story: 门 and 户 are the doors of a house and, by extension, the family and its rank, as in 门第 ("lineage"). In traditional China marriages were arranged by families, and they were expected to be of comparable rank. The phrase is on record in 《西厢记》, the Yuan-dynasty play by Wang Shifu, the love story of the scholar Zhang and Cui Yingying, in which her mother puts obstacles in the suitor's way. Today it is used both to argue that a couple should share background and values and to criticize that expectation.
Source (出处): 王实甫《西厢记》
How is 门当户对 used? Two examples
- 我爸妈总说找对象要门当户对，我觉得三观合得来更重要。
My parents keep saying a partner should come from a family of our standing; I think sharing the same values matters more.
- 两家都是做小生意的，双方父母都觉得门当户对。
Both families run small businesses, so the parents on both sides consider it a good match.
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